Baby Update-5 Days Old

The last few days have gone by so quickly, and yet have felt so long with the babies still being in the hospital.  I was discharged from Post Partum on Friday morning around eleven, to a very excited bunch!  Kris and Nick had collaborated to care for Emmy, Hannah, Jacob and Clairey, and they went out of their way to make me feel special as soon as I climbed into the car!  Mom arrived on Friday evening and I was so thrilled to be able to introduce her to J&J at the hospital when we dropped off milk for their night time feedings.

They are both doing wonderfully...They are off oxygen and IV fluids completely.  Jules is back on phototherapy because her bilirubin level was elevated again.  Their main focus, though, remains on increasing their feeding amounts and proving that they can ingest it all by mouth.  James is up to 45mL every three hours and Jules is at 40 mL in the same time frame.  They are doing a pretty good job, but are still somewhat sleepy eaters.  They have been able to eek down their bottles more quickly at some feedings than others.  We finally got an order to try nursing yesterday afternoon, even though we have a very long way to go, I was grateful for the chance.

James had a little setback yesterday morning.  On two separate occasions, when he settled down with a pacifier after a screaming fit, his oxygen saturation decreased, his color turned a little dusky and needed a little stimulation to come out of it.  This is very common occurrence in preemies; we were very lucky, though, that it didn't happen while he was in the middle of a deep sleep, which is very dangerous if the babies are not on a monitor.  So, with this happening, he bought himself another 3 to 5 days in the NICU. :(  We'll see on what side of that range the Neonatologist feels is appropriate to keep him.

Back on the homefront, we are in a bit of a state of flux.  Emmy was just heartbroken when she learned that she wouldn't be able to meet and hold the babies until they came home from the hospital.  Ever since, we have had some naughty, defiant behavior.  We even had an accident-something she hasn't done in months.  From what I can tell, it's pretty textbook regression behavior, but tiresome all the same.  Hannah is pretty oblivious still, but, coincidentally, the same day Emmy had her accident (the day after I came home from the hospital,) Hannah cut her nap short because she shimmied out of her sleepsack, unsnapped her cloth diaper and went potty in her crib!  To add to the crazy, the dogs even had a couple of accidents and puked on the couch.  It seemed as though the universe was conspiring against me that day.  I was just so grateful to have Mom and Nick's help!

Physically, I am managing better (so far) than either of my other Post Partum periods.  So much so, that I've needed to reign in my activity level because it started to catch up with me.  I have stayed pretty much on top of my pain medication to help with the cramping, and have had minimal discomfort (so far) in that arena.  Because I am pumping exclusively, I have been sore, but haven't dealt with the other issues that I have from nursing in the past. It's been pretty miraculous to me that every time the babies are prescribed a greater feeding amount, my body seems to make it; which just adds to the many God moments I've experienced since going into labor. Sleep wise, I haven't gotten more than a two hour sleep stretch in days, but quite honestly, I know this is as good as it's going to get for a long time.  I set my alarm for pumping, but I haven't needed to soothe a crying baby or be awake for more than half an hour at a time.

Emotionally, I am all over the place.  Initially, I was grateful to have a breather before diving into full time care for both of the babies.  If I'm being honest, nourishing both babies has been one of the factors that I have been most intimidated of since learning that we were expecting twins.  In my first days post partum, I admittedly felt a bit grateful that my job was beefing up my milk supply with the pump, so that I wasn't getting torn to shreds like I did with Emmy and Hannah.  But now, I am very ready for them to come home.  I am eager for us to be a family, and to get the opportunity to bond with them in the comfort of our home.  I know it is a blip on the radar in terms of the grand scheme of time, but I have felt really disconnected from them.  I keep thinking how blessed we are that they are healthy and just exhibiting normal preemie behaviors and how very short a period of time they will be in the NICU when all is said and done, and I feel guilty for complaining at all.  I miss them terribly, and learning that James had bought himself at least three more days in the NICU was so upsetting.  I know they are where they need to be, I'm just ready to have our family all together and to start loving on our babies as I'm feeling pulled to do.