Full House!

Our family is now complete!  Pay no mind to Nick spewing craziness about having a fifth child...He's joking.  I think.

I will say, though, that looking at these pictures, and Nick's genuine smile, it's hard to deny that bringing home our new babies are among his happiest moments.  They are for me, too. :)  In addition to my joy, though, came a case of butterflies as we were driving to the hospital to go pick up our James.  Even though James and Julia belong to us, there was some added anxiety that came with the understanding that we were now truly responsible for them and their well-being and not the incredible care team at the hospital. :)

We got the word that James was ready to come home on Friday morning when I went to bring him some milk.  It seemed that the idea of being shown up by his sister was what it took to get him to step into high gear with his feedings. ;)  I called Nick right away, who was actually on his way into work (at my insistence, I was truly hopeful that I could trade a couple of paternity days last week for when the babies were actually at home. :-P)  He turned the car around, and we met at home so that Nick could reshuffle all of the carseats. :)  We timed our arrival at the hospital for right after their "no visitor" time expired at 1:00.  I think we were walking out of the door with our James not 15 minutes after we walked in. :)  We were so grateful for the INCREDIBLE care that both babies received, my former co-workers spoiled them rotten. :)

After we arrived home, there was just a calm, peaceful energy that filled the house.  It did just-so-happen to be naptime for Sissy and quiet time for Emmy, and both babies were sound asleep; but the fact that we were all finally under one roof was simply amazing.

We had quite a few visitors that afternoon, and we were so thrilled to be able to introduce both babies to them all.  After the last visitor left, and the dinner plates were cleared, we started gearing up for our first night!  I am still pumping and bottle feeding exclusively.  I am determined to figure out and be successful at tandem nursing, but for now, they are both pretty sleepy eaters and my desire for them to reserve their calories for growing and not use them all trying to eat outweighs the need to force nursing for the moment.  My hope is that in the next week or so, as they get nearer to "term" and "wake up" a bit more, we can start the process of switching.  We'll get it, but for now, I am very pleased that they are still getting my milk.  One of the benefits to pumping from the get-go is that I have had complete control over establishing my milk supply through the frequency and duration of my pumping sessions.  As of now, I am pumping about 50+ ounces in a 24 hour period.  They are taking just a fraction of that (and meeting their prescribed feeding minimums) and my freezer stash is growing rapidly by the day.  So my worry of producing enough for the both of them has vanished for the time being.  As with every step along the way with this pregnancy, labor and delivery, God has ALWAYS provided all that we need.

The first night with both babies at home was very predictable.  They are still on the feeding schedule that was established during their time in the NICU--Julia eats at 2a, 5a, 8a, 11a, 2p, 5p, 8p, 11p and James eats just a half hour later.  After James' feeding, I pumped for 20 minutes.  They are so sleepy, and needed to be woken up for their feeds...So our night was really very straightforward!

I decided during one of the middle of the night feedings, that it would be in my best interest to invest in a special garment that allows me to pump "hands-free" so that I can pump while I bottle feed, in order to cut feeding times down by at least 20 minutes, which enables me to get a little more sleep. After James' follow-up with the pediatrician on Saturday morning, I popped into Babies R Us to purchase this nursing wear, and I can say that it's my new best friend.  I have taken multi-tasking to a new level that I never imagined I would.  Desperate measures, you know.

Speaking of pediatrician appointments, both babies had follow-ups the day after they came home from the hospital.  We got glowing reports to include a weight gain for them both!  I used to love little preemies when I worked in the NICU because they look like little dolls, but I will be so grateful when Jules chunks out a little bit more because there is something a little unnerving about nourishing such a tiny little person.  I have been really amazed, though, by the progress they both made with regard to milk intake, literally overnight, from the time they were apart to the time that they were reunited.  Pretty special.

Emmy and Hannah adore their new siblings.  The love is so intense for our eldest that we have been dealing with some very naughty behavior, in that I merely get in the way of her caring for her baby brother and baby sister.  Pouting, whining, back-talking, defiance, you name it, we heard it from the peanut gallery.  It was as if I came home from the hospital to a totally different child.  To think I was most worried about Hannah's behavior, who is intrigued by the babies, but otherwise more focused on her own play.  Praise Jesus for Nick's presence and my mother and her infinite patience for children...Between the two of them, they constructed a sticker chart to encourage her good behavior that has been a game-changer since they instituted it yesterday morning. 

My Nick is such a "hands on" dad. :)

The second boy that has stolen my heart.

I love that smile. :)

I really can't believe they were both in my belly.

The new family portrait! :)

Gearing up for the first night shift with both babies. :-P

Jules Comes Home!

Jules came home from the hospital on Thursday, September 12th!  (James followed her on Friday the 13th!)  We got word that she was ready for discharge when we went to drop off milk that morning, and knew that we wanted to bring her home in time to surprise Emmy and Hannah when we picked them up from Mom's Day Out that afternoon...Emmy's reaction was priceless when Nick informed her that Jules was in the car.  She was giddily walking around in circles telling every person she laid eyes on that Julia was in the car....  

Our sweet James.  It broke my heart to leave him behind.

The moment Emmy's been waiting for for months.

Sissy kept saying "baby" and patting her head.

Our "middle" child!  

Baby Update-5 Days Old

The last few days have gone by so quickly, and yet have felt so long with the babies still being in the hospital.  I was discharged from Post Partum on Friday morning around eleven, to a very excited bunch!  Kris and Nick had collaborated to care for Emmy, Hannah, Jacob and Clairey, and they went out of their way to make me feel special as soon as I climbed into the car!  Mom arrived on Friday evening and I was so thrilled to be able to introduce her to J&J at the hospital when we dropped off milk for their night time feedings.

They are both doing wonderfully...They are off oxygen and IV fluids completely.  Jules is back on phototherapy because her bilirubin level was elevated again.  Their main focus, though, remains on increasing their feeding amounts and proving that they can ingest it all by mouth.  James is up to 45mL every three hours and Jules is at 40 mL in the same time frame.  They are doing a pretty good job, but are still somewhat sleepy eaters.  They have been able to eek down their bottles more quickly at some feedings than others.  We finally got an order to try nursing yesterday afternoon, even though we have a very long way to go, I was grateful for the chance.

James had a little setback yesterday morning.  On two separate occasions, when he settled down with a pacifier after a screaming fit, his oxygen saturation decreased, his color turned a little dusky and needed a little stimulation to come out of it.  This is very common occurrence in preemies; we were very lucky, though, that it didn't happen while he was in the middle of a deep sleep, which is very dangerous if the babies are not on a monitor.  So, with this happening, he bought himself another 3 to 5 days in the NICU. :(  We'll see on what side of that range the Neonatologist feels is appropriate to keep him.

Back on the homefront, we are in a bit of a state of flux.  Emmy was just heartbroken when she learned that she wouldn't be able to meet and hold the babies until they came home from the hospital.  Ever since, we have had some naughty, defiant behavior.  We even had an accident-something she hasn't done in months.  From what I can tell, it's pretty textbook regression behavior, but tiresome all the same.  Hannah is pretty oblivious still, but, coincidentally, the same day Emmy had her accident (the day after I came home from the hospital,) Hannah cut her nap short because she shimmied out of her sleepsack, unsnapped her cloth diaper and went potty in her crib!  To add to the crazy, the dogs even had a couple of accidents and puked on the couch.  It seemed as though the universe was conspiring against me that day.  I was just so grateful to have Mom and Nick's help!

Physically, I am managing better (so far) than either of my other Post Partum periods.  So much so, that I've needed to reign in my activity level because it started to catch up with me.  I have stayed pretty much on top of my pain medication to help with the cramping, and have had minimal discomfort (so far) in that arena.  Because I am pumping exclusively, I have been sore, but haven't dealt with the other issues that I have from nursing in the past. It's been pretty miraculous to me that every time the babies are prescribed a greater feeding amount, my body seems to make it; which just adds to the many God moments I've experienced since going into labor. Sleep wise, I haven't gotten more than a two hour sleep stretch in days, but quite honestly, I know this is as good as it's going to get for a long time.  I set my alarm for pumping, but I haven't needed to soothe a crying baby or be awake for more than half an hour at a time.

Emotionally, I am all over the place.  Initially, I was grateful to have a breather before diving into full time care for both of the babies.  If I'm being honest, nourishing both babies has been one of the factors that I have been most intimidated of since learning that we were expecting twins.  In my first days post partum, I admittedly felt a bit grateful that my job was beefing up my milk supply with the pump, so that I wasn't getting torn to shreds like I did with Emmy and Hannah.  But now, I am very ready for them to come home.  I am eager for us to be a family, and to get the opportunity to bond with them in the comfort of our home.  I know it is a blip on the radar in terms of the grand scheme of time, but I have felt really disconnected from them.  I keep thinking how blessed we are that they are healthy and just exhibiting normal preemie behaviors and how very short a period of time they will be in the NICU when all is said and done, and I feel guilty for complaining at all.  I miss them terribly, and learning that James had bought himself at least three more days in the NICU was so upsetting.  I know they are where they need to be, I'm just ready to have our family all together and to start loving on our babies as I'm feeling pulled to do.

24 hours old!

Nick and I just returned from the NICU where we got to hold the babies for the first time!  We even got to feed them their 5 mL of milk!  They are off oxygen and tolerating it wonderfully!  Julia is on phototherapy for an ever-so-slightly elevated bilirubin level.  They still have IVs that will be weaned as they're feeding amount increases.  In the next day or so, once we can verify their ability to suck-swallow-and breathe, the Neonatologist said we can try nursing.  

We have received the very best care from my former colleagues, it's funny to hear now how closely they were all monitoring my labor and delivery, and were genuinely shocked that I didn't have a c-section, given how long it took.  They tried their best to keep the babies out of the NICU but they did what was very best.  Truth be told, I have so much peace of mind knowing that by the time we head home, they will have been given a clean bill of health!  The Neonatologist said he wouldn't be surprised if they came home the beginning of next week!

Mommy & Jules

Mommy & Jules, Daddy & James

Jules up close and personal.  She was a little fidgety while I was holding her...

...But it seems that Nick has found his napping buddy. :)

Julia appeared to be far more content sunbathing on her bili blanket. :)

16 hours old!

I just made my way to the NICU to bring them some milk and got to lay eyes on our sleeping beauties...Can't wait to hold them in my arms. :)

James is out like a light.

Sweet Jules.

...And then there were 6

This is totally unedited and just a stream of consciousness before I crash for awhile...

Final prego picture (EVER!)

35 weeks and 1 day, right before I left for the hospital:

Our precious Julia Kristin

Nick and Jules

Our James

Mommy & James

Our men!

Mommy & Daddy (well, part of) with James

Mommy and Daddy with Julia

My hope is to document our sweet James and Julia's birthday while the memories are still remotely fresh.  I must admit that Hannah's rapid birth spoiled me, and I came into their labor and delivery thinking that it might be just as quick.  Boy was I mistaken...

On Monday night (9/2) I kept waking up to really uncomfortable contractions.  I finally took to the couch thinking that maybe I could curl up in a ball and it might provide some relief.  I managed to sleep on the couch for a few hours until Nick found me at his 430 wake up and carried me back to bed.  I slept intermittently before the kiddos woke up bright and early for their very first day of Mom's Day Out (which we affectionately refer to as being "school".)

I will share all of the details from the girls' first day of school in a separate post, because it was just that fantastic, but I will say that I was powering through some regular and uncomfortable contractions to get us out of the door (somewhat) on time.  I had planned to grocery shop during their school time, but it was very clear to me that there was no way that I would be able to last standing upright.  I just felt weird.  I decided that I would go to Babies R Us to get the girls' big sister gifts (the only thing left on my pre-baby to-do list) and figured that since I already knew what I was going to get, it would be a very quick stop.  That didn't much matter, though, because my contractions just kept coming, to the point that I didn't know if I would make it to the car without doubling over.  After I (successfully) arrived at the car, I sat there for awhile contemplating if I should just drive the mile or so to the hospital for a labor check.  I decided that maybe if I had some lunch I would feel a little better, so I grabbed half a sandwich at Panera Bread and ate it in the parking lot, while still contemplating the trip to Labor and Delivery while the girls still had a few hours at school.  There was this feeling in the pit of my stomach, though, that told me that this is the last lunch out I'd be eating for awhile.

I then decided that I'd better go home to hydrate and lay down for the remainder of the girls' school day and see if that helped.  It didn't.  I finally texted my incredible sitter to see if she could come over as soon as I arrived home from picking the girls up at school so that I could go to the hospital for a labor check.  She texted me that she was on her way (I love her so much.)  I threw a few more things in my "go bag" and drove to the hospital.  The whole time my gut was telling me that this was it.  God bless my Nick, who has been up since before dawn for a class.  He called me every break he had to check on me.  We had made a pact that I would go to the hospital to get checked and if they admitted me, he would come join me.

I arrived at the hospital feeling strangely calm.  As I sat in the waiting area to be registered, I texted Dr. Anderson, as directed, to let him know that I was there to get checked after frequent and regular contractions since the night before.  He wrote back: "Prefect. I'm on call, so I'll come check on you. "exciting with a hint of anxiousness." All 3 of you will be fine."  I believe that was the sign that I had been asking God for that I was making the right decision to go into the hospital.   The woman who was registering me was as flustered as could possibly be knowing that I was potentially in labor.  She was as nice as can be, but couldn't get me out of her office fast enough.  When I got to Labor and Delivery (at just before 4PM), I was quickly changed into my gown and hooked up to monitors to check both babies' heart rates as well as my contraction frequency and intensity.  Soon thereafter they "checked" only to learn that I had achieved 4 cm.  Dr. Anderson told the nurse to admit me by 5PM.

After getting my IV started, labs drawn, and monitors replaced, I had to hunker down and let the contractions do their job.  At this point they were getting much more uncomfortable, and I was sure that  things would go rather quickly.  Nick and Dr. Anderson walked in together, both with giant smiles on their faces.  I was so grateful to see them both!

Dr. Anderson checked me and said that he wanted Julia's head to come down a little more before he would break my water and order the epidural, so I had to keep on keepin' on with my contractions for awhile longer.  So I did.  It wasn't until 1030 last night that Julia was finally in the place that Dr. Anderson had wanted, at which time, he broke my water.  I was now in an acceptable place to get my epidural, and when they asked if I wanted one, I gave an emphatic "YES!"  I followed up asking if there were any impending c-sections that might detain the anesthesiologist (which is what prolonged my epidural for so long with Emmy, which made that labor experience especially painful.)  Both Dr. Anderson and my nurse, Cindy, assured me that there wasn't...But...Then I found out there was a stat c-section and that the anesthesiologist wouldn't be done for another hour, and had one other laboring woman to tend to before me...So, I rallied until 1230am when my epidural was placed...Hallelujah!

At this point, I my cervical progression was at a crawl--5cm to 6cm to 6.5cm to 7...It took me until 6am to get to 9cm, which I proceeded to stay for another 6 hours.  I was checked multiple times, and each time I learned that I was stuck at 9cm, I became more and more discouraged.  My epidural was effectively giving me dead legs and I was unable to feel any contractions or pressure, so I felt as though I was just sitting and waiting for change.  According to my nurse, there wasn't anything I could really do to help it along.  The nurse said it was highly unusual to be stuck at 9cm for so long, and wondered allowed if there was some way James was holding Julia back.  I had been praying and meditating, and trying so badly to go to my happy place over all the hours that we were in a holding pattern.  I finally decided to change positions and lay on James' side, so that if he was in face holding Julia back, he would be pulled away from her.  After about 5 minutes on my side, I started noticing the pressure that I had been praying for, and the contractions started feeling stronger.  My epidural seemed to be lifting just enough for me to have some feeling.  At noon, Dr. Anderson came in to check me one last time, and asked me to push through a few contractions to see if I could somehow get to 10cm.  He said that if I wasn't able to, then we would need to go back to the OR for a c-section (I had been laboring for 16 hours at this point.)  I pushed once...twice...and then the third time he said, "Ok, we got her to 10, lets get her back to the OR!"  I couldn't believe my ears!  Thank the Lord for answered prayers!!

They delivered me in the OR just in case they would need to do an emergency c-section, particularly with James, who, upon the last ultrasound, was still breech.  With the company of Dr. Anderson, two nurses, a scrub tech, the anesthesiologist, neonatologist, neonatal nurse practitioner and RN, Nick and I were to meet our babies!  They all moved so quickly to get everything in place so that I could deliver the babies.  Within three pushes, our beautiful Julia was born, at 1257, and weighed in at 5 pounds 2 ounces!  They whisked her away to the warmer to asses her, as she gave our a shrill cry!  Afterwards, Dr. Anderson went back to the ultrasound to see which position James was assuming now with his sister out.  He was still breech, but Dr. Anderson expertly massaged my belly to turn him around.  He leaned in to tell me that he got him head down.  Another incredible blessing!  With the nurse holding James in place, I was able to deliver him in six pushes.  Our handsome James was born at 1:21 weighing 6 pounds even!  "Joyful" doesn't even begin to describe the feeling of having our babies here, and the way that their delivery ended up.  I am so very thankful for every blessing bestowed upon us.

James and Julia went back to the NICU for their transition period, and have since been admitted.  They both were showing some signs that they needed a little respiratory support, so they both have a nasal cannula with just room air (their oxygen saturation has been very good.)  Their chest x-rays show that they might've swallowed a little bit of fluid, but are really not concerning to the neonatologist.  Julia's initial blood sugar was 36, so she needed a little feeding of formula to bump it up-which it did, successfully.  They both have IVs right now for fluids, and are otherwise not taking feedings until their breathing rate and effort improves.  They are really doing wonderfully, and their condition is very understandable given that they are a bit premature.  The nurse practitioner estimated that they'll be in the NICU for about a week...We are sad to be away from them, but know that they are where they need to be right now to get the best start possible.

The kids (well, Emmy) could not be more excited about James and Julia's arrival.  Last night, Nick ran home to change out of his uniform and saw Emmy as Ericka was putting her to bed.  Emmy asked if the babies had come yet, and Nick explained that if she went to bed right away, when she woke up the babies would be here (or so he thought.)  She quickly told Miss Ericka that she needed to go to bed right away. :)

Kris, Clairey and Jacob so kindly drove to town last night after we got confirmation that I was being admitted.  They arrived just a hair after midnight.  We are so grateful for their help!  Emmy and Sissy are so excited to be passing the time with their cousins!  Kris was keeping us posted with their goings-on today through text conversations and pictures.  Our favorite was that Emmy's very first words this morning, upon seeing Kris downstairs was, "Auntie Kristi, the babies are not in their cribs.  I already checked."  :)

Other than feeling sore and some pain, I feel on top of the world.  I am already freed from the many, many discomforts that came with this pregnancy, and I feel as though I have a new lease on life!  I am pumping while the babies are in the NICU in order to establish a good milk supply.  I miss them so much, but I am grateful they are getting the help they need, and am choosing to take this time to get myself as strong and well as possible before they are relying on me completely.  I can't even believe that they're here, and we are a family of 6 now...God is so GOOD.

35 weeks!

Nick told me the black shirt is slimming...Boy do I love that man!

Nick and Derek took all 6 kids for a hike...I was so impressed!

Nick took our girls out on their newfound trail the next day. :)  I love this picture of them, it's my new favorite picture of Nick.  I love his smile. :)

My girls and I watching Caillou one afternoon.  This is how we roll.

When Sissy was climbing on me one morning, I noticed she had stuck some pancake in her ear.  Never a dull moment with that little one.

A few of my "nesting" house projects: