Heavy thoughts

Nick and I just returned from our trip to Florida a couple of hours ago, feeling emotionally drained. A little price to pay, compared to what the families of the fallen are experiencing right now. I can still hear a grieving mother's screams, pleading with God to bring her son back, and when I close my eyes, I can see a heartbroken widow clinging to her husband's coffin. The sights and sounds of grief, and there is nothing at all that we can do to ease their pain.

I think about these devastated widows, and how I felt when Nick was working hard in Colorado...all I wanted to do was see him, hold him and have him tell me that everything was going to be ok. I imagine that is what these wives are craving right about now, although they will never hear their husband's reassuring voice again, feel their comforting arms around them or find solace in watching them breathe. How quickly God's blessings can be taken from us...

The Army Chaplain said something at Rob's funeral that really struck a cord: when we are born, we are given an expiration date. The day that we die is already predetermined by God. Nothing could have changed what happened on Mount Massive August 19th, because it was God's will. Definitely a difficult concept to embrace, but I imagine that is what having faith is all about.

What has been made apparent to me in talking with so many different people these past two weeks, is the many blessings that God has granted us all in spite of this tragedy. I am still in awe everytime I think of the first responder hiking team--on that whole mountain, something caused them to work at that particular spot that day, where they were close enough to be at the crash site within a minute's time.

One of the fallen's sisters was explaining to me that she had just recently moved back to her parent's hometown because her husband had just deployed overseas. God placed her where she would be most needed in helping her parents cope and, in return, receive the support that she also needs.

I spoke with the mother of a widow who said that she and her parents had decided to visit with her daughter while her daughter's Nightstalker husband was training in Colorado--for no real reason other than they wanted to. Therefore, her daughter was surrounded by family when the casualty notification team knocked on her door in the middle of the night. I got goosebumps each times I heard these stories...God was preparing these families for the tragedy they were about to experience.

Nick leaves tomorrow for Philadelphia (my tired pregnant body has dictated that I need to sit this one out) where he will be paying his respect to PJ at his viewing, funeral and burial ceremonies. After which, all of the fallen Nightstalkers will be in their final resting places...and then it will be time for everyone to become acquainted with their "new" reality.

I don't have many pictures from this past week or so, but I do have a couple of the Patriot Guard at Chad's burial service. The Patriot Guard is a motorcycle club that travels to military funerals to shield the families and the fallen from protesters. (I can't imagine what kind of lunatic would deem it appropriate to protest at a military-or any-funeral service for that matter, but I have promised my dad there would be no politics in the blog :-P). Essentially, these motorcyclists stand with large American flags and surround the entrance of the church and the cemetery...It's absolutely remarkable! Thankfully, there haven't been any protesters at any of the funerals thus far