It all started years ago, when Nick completed his first command. We had 10 years of military service behind us and faced the ominous question of what next. We could stay in the military to finish out his 20 years for retirement or we get out. I was 110% committed to getting out of the military while Nick straddled the fence. To appease me, Nick studied for months and took the GMAT in December of 2011 and scored remarkably well (although he still believes that he could have done better...) The following months came and went without any grad school applications submitted. To say that we were stressed would be a gross understatement. After many uncomfortable, passionate conversations, it was determined that Nick would stay in the Army so that he could achieve his next command. I struggled mightily with this, but decided to give it to God (and our therapist) and focus on caring for the family, which was what I have been called to do. If only I could just give my spring of 2012 self a hug and say, hang on tight, this is going to be a WILD ride, but it will all work out for good and be greater than you could have ever imagined.
Since moving into our new home in the country, I am in my element. This time spent nurturing our family in such a beautiful place as this has fed my soul. The deployments are hard, but after all these years and all of these babies, I've finally found my stride and life is otherwise so good.
Nick's command has been a busy one, we assumed that once his two years were up that we would have another year here at Fort Campbell while Nick completed an administrative job for his battalion. This past summer, while he was deployed, Nick had a routine counseling session with his boss, and it didn't go favorably. Nick had spent little time with his boss over the last year given his company's preoccupation with fielding their new aircraft, and that limited face time colored the review. The take-home message was that the job we had anticipated Nick having after completing his command was no longer on the table. This, rightfully, brought forth some intense soul searching and contemplation of the future.
After Nick returned from the deployment, he came to join the kids and I in California. While he was there, both he and I, with open hearts, started conversing with so many family members and friends about our predicament. Those conversations snowballed into others and come September, we made a decision that Nick would apply to grad school, with the GMAT score he had taken years before that had not quite expired yet. This fall was consumed with applications and essays to Stanford for the conventional 2-year business school, the 1 year executive business school (with a focus on leadership for students with an average of 12 years work experience) and to Duke business school. We knew that they were completely ambitious, but Nick had gathered from his many conversations that, at his age, the only way grad school would really be a wise investment (both in time and monetarily) is if he went for one of the top-ranked schools. Nick felt strongly that grad school would be the best transition from the military to the civilian business world, and that if he wasn't admitted, it was a clear sign that wasn't the route he was intended to take.
After some majorly down-to-the-wire revisions, his first Stanford application and essays were submitted for the 2 year conventional MBA program in the end of September while on a work trip. Duke came next. I will never forget him running into the twins' room while I was reading the kids a bedtime story, roughly 4 hours before his application was due, asking me to read his essays. A similar scenario played out the night his Stanford MsX application was due. My Dad had uncovered some incredible advice for a recommended approach to the most daunting of the essays: "What Matters Most To You and Why?" just a couple of days prior to the deadline. Nick had agonized over whether to keep the essay he had tweaked from his first Stanford application even though it wasn't consistent with the advised approach, or scrap it and start over. So, at 10 o'clock at night, 4 hours before the deadline (PRAISE JESUS FOR PACIFIC TIME) that essay was re-written. It was an intense night with rapid-fire revisions. Just after midnight, we got a text from Poppy telling us about a movie that he, Grammy and Grant had just finished watching. The timing was impeccable, with the both of us bleary-eyed and knowing they were still awake, we gratefully sent the draft along to Grant for one final revision before Nick hit the submit button.
We waited weeks for a response from all the programs. In that time, we learned that Nick's boss had actually slated him for the same job we had originally anticipated him having only for the other battalion. An unexpected but appreciated decision, that definitely complicated our picture of the future. He was offered interviews with both Duke and the Stanford MsX programs. He traveled to Durham for his Duke interview and Skyped with the Associate Director of the Stanford MsX program in the end of November. Both of the interviews went well, and we were left to wait some more.
In that waiting period, doubt certainly crept in. Nick was convinced that he was going to get e-mails from all of the programs with a picture of a young kid clad in their school t-shirt flipping him the bird. He deployed in December, and a little over a week later, we received word that he had been waitlisted for the conventional 2 year MBA at Stanford. Then, we learned that he was accepted into Duke MBA and hours later came the news that he was also accepted into Stanford's 1 year Executive Business School (MsX.) We can't help but wonder if the overhaul in the 11th hour on his main essay for Stanford MsX made the difference. We were both genuinely surprised and overwhelmed. The decision to apply to grad school was a leap of faith and was made without deep consideration of the logistics. Neither of us really thought it was going to pan out. We were both deeply overwhelmed by the prospect of making such a radical life change, stepping out from the "stability" of the military into an abyss as Nick described it. He doesn't have a clear picture of what he hopes to do after he completes school and knowing how much he loves what he does right now in the military (even though his job description will change in the very near future) really brought forth some legitimate concerns about what to do. That all on top of great concern that his replacement is arriving in the end of June and his ability to change command and out process from the army in time for the first day of school on July 6th seemed nearly impossible.
Stanford is where we want to be, both because of it's ranking and, most important, for the first time in too many years, we can live near both of our entire families. Out of concern for the borderline impossible timeline, we requested to defer Nick's acceptance for a year. Stanford will only entertain such requests for those making them on the grounds of compulsory military service, and therefore they agreed to look into our case.
In the week afterward, Nick's best friend, Derek, and his wife, my girlfriend, Mel, just-so-happened to come for a childless visit for work. The timing was, once again, impeccable. We spent numerous hours together and were able to talk all of this out with them, who have been invested in our lives since we all first started dating 15 years ago. We started getting answers to our questions regarding Nick's medical board for his back and how that would impact his out processing timeline. It's doable. His replacement doesn't graduate from his school until June 19th, however, he identified a way that he could get his family moved to Tennessee prior to his finals and opt out of "walking" for graduation in order to come back to Fort Campbell immediately after finishing his finals to complete hundreds of millions of dollars of equipment inventory before their official change of command, which might happen around July 2nd. So, it's possible, too. I woke up Wednesday morning after learning the last of the information the night before and I couldn't stop thinking about Proverbs 3:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord
and turn away from evil.
It occurred to me that God had already cleared the path for us, there were no longer any roadblocks besides our own fear of the unknown. So, I felt a strong urge to call Nick and tell him my revelation. I told him that I didn't want him to have to call me if he found himself in a conversation with his boss about our future plans (as was already scheduled to happen this week anyway.) I trust that God is leading us to Stanford this summer. He agreed.
We are excited, yet still guarded, being so used to the other shoe routinely dropping. We are like deer in headlights beginning preparations for selling the house and moving the family to Stanford. We are just now beginning to talk about the special moments that we will be able to share with all of our family and so many of our treasured friends in the bay area....It's all so novel. Just the other day as I was driving, I was lost in a day dream envisioning myself driving the van across the California state line and I just felt the tears starts pouring out of my eyes. I can't begin to fathom what life is even going to look like without the military and the deployments that come with it; and having an incredible abundance of loving arms from our family who can now walk through life with us after being away for so long gets me choked up at the thought. This is such a tremendous blessing for each and every one of us. God has been ALL OVER this from the very beginning and I know he will continue to guide us in the days, weeks, months and year ahead as we embark on our next great adventure.
