The Good Samaritan

I have heard every rude pregnancy question and comment in the book since I started showing this time around.  Seriously, it's incredible the things that people will say.  However, today in Target, as I was in line purchasing the outfits the girls picked out for their first day of school, I came upon a good samaritan.  The cashier was commenting on how fun it is to buy frilly clothes and asked if I knew if I was having a boy or girl.  I told her "both...one of each."  Enter good samaritan.  The kind woman behind me in line, said, very genuinely I might add, "You're having twins??  You aren't big at all!!"  To which I thanked her profusely for her kindness and told her that she is the first person to say that to me, I'm typically reminded of how huge I am.  She asked if I was scared, I told her that I was terrified, and she squeezed my arm and told me I was going to be great.  She probably has no idea how she made my whole entire day, but she did.

34 weeks!

I am grateful for each morning that I wake up still pregnant.  I feel really miserable, and am more than ready to be finished with this pregnancy, but I want so badly to get these babies to a point where they are healthy and able to come home with us after they are born.  My hope is to make it to at least 35 weeks, but 36 would be even better.  I honestly hadn't ever really thought about the ramifications of having the twins remain at the hospital in the NICU after I come home until this past week.  If it's God's Will, then so be it, but if there is anything I can do to ensure that they cook longer, then I will do it.

I am just flooded with emotions right now.  I have forgotten what it feels like to actually feel good, and look forward regaining my ability to function.  At the same time I know that once the babies are here, life will never be the same.  As uncomfortable as I am, I know that carrying the babies in utero is significantly easier logistically than carrying them in my arms.  As is feeding them via umbilical cord versus nursing them.  Nursing both Emmy and Hannah was excruciatingly painful for the first six or so weeks, and thinking about nursing the two is really frightening to me.  But, I am committed.  My girls have been so healthy and I want the same for James and Julia.  The good news, is that as an experienced mama, I know that it gets better with time and practice, it's just the getting there part that makes me really anxious.  With Hannah, the cramping I experienced as my insides shrunk down to size, left me doubled over in tears for the first couple of weeks post partum.  I needed the strongest pain meds Dr. Anderson had prescribed me in order to be somewhat comfortable.  Everything that I have read indicates that it gets worse with each subsequent pregnancy.  Knowing this, and that I will have much further to "shrink" makes me nervous, too.  I know it will still be quite some time until I truly feel like myself again, even after I deliver these peanuts.  I have such empathy for those who are chronically ill after this pregnancy.

I had a doctor's appointment today, and no cervical progress has been made.  Thankfully, I'm still at 2cm and 50%.  I am measuring 42 weeks and Julia remains head down, while James is side-lying.  He managed to lodge his head in the right side of my rib cage with his tush in the left side.  This new position explains all the discomfort I've had in my ribs as of late!  The unfortunate news is that Dr. Anderson said that if James stays in this position when I go into labor, he would insist on a c-section.  It is far to risky to attempt to deliver him any other way.  He also informed me that, so long as he's in town he will do everything he can to deliver the babies, but on the off chance one of his colleagues should need to, they likely would do a c-section unless both babies were head-down, given their discomfort and inexperience with delivering breech babies.  I am grateful to have had the heads up, so that I can be mentally prepared, but I am prayerful that James is just working his way around.  We'll see how it goes...

33 weeks!

This week I had both an ultrasound and regular OB appointment.  The ultrasound revealed that Julia is measuring approximately 4 pounds 8 ounces and James is 5 pounds 11 ounces...Yikes!!!  Julia is still head down, but my man-child managed to turn himself breech again.  The high risk doctor said that they look great and asked that I come back for another routine ultrasound in three weeks "if I'm still pregnant."  I wasn't prepared to hear that add-on.  For as uncomfortable as I am, I haven't thought twice about delivering these two before my induction day on September 19th.

I went to my regular OB appointment today and confirmed that James is still breech.  There is a chance he could turn, but because he will be born second, I can still avoid a c-section even if he doesn't.  Dr. Anderson has been clear with me that it is most ideal for James to be head-down especially given that he is believed to be about a pound bigger than Julia.  From what I can tell the delivery will not be without some added excitement, given that we don't know how James will respond after Julia is born.  He could turn head-down on his own, or be manually turned head-down by the doctor, or delivered footling breech.  The concern is how big he is at delivery.  The bigger he is, the greater the risk of him getting "stuck," in which case, there would be a need for an emergency c-section.  Dr. Anderson said that that concern would really come into play if he were in the 8-9 pound range.  Understanding fully that this will all play out according to God's plan, I am still praying that I can avoid a c-section.  The idea of keeping up with all of my children's needs while recovering from major abdominal surgery is intimidating.

When asked if I had been having contractions, I admitted that I have had more than a few, but have managed to curb them with water and rest.  Even still, Dr. Anderson decided to "check me."  It turns out that I am already 2 cm and 50% effaced.  I know very well that I can walk around like this for weeks, but being that I am only 33 weeks and 3 days, this update came as a bit of a surprise to me.  Dr. Anderson said that if I should go into labor now, they would likely just give me fluid, but wouldn't given me any tocolytic medication to stop the contractions.  I left Dr. Anderson's office in a bit of a fog, realizing that, in all likelihood, I wont make it another four weeks to my induction day.  My prayer is that these guys hold on until at least 35 weeks, preferably 36, so that we can feel even more confident about their lung maturity.  For now, I have alerted the troops of my progression, so we have an emergency plan in place.  I am going to be extra diligent over the next couple of weeks to keep well hydrated and off my feet so that these buns can keep on cooking for a bit longer.  But, I think it would be prudent to go ahead and pack my go-bag, just in case.

32 weeks!

After I got my hair did.

Outtakes:

This week seemed to mark the beginning of the especially uncomfortable homestretch.  I have read a bunch of twin blogs, and am relieved to know that it's not just me.  The girls and I left the house just once this week to drop off our recycling, but I otherwise spent the majority of the week on the couch.  It seemed that nausea has returned and I am getting lightheaded if I'm on my feet for any period of time.  Heartburn is in full effect and I am overcome with weakness after doing simple tasks.  My hips have become really loose which makes me feel a bit unstable when I get up and makes for a pretty achy back.  I found my old belly band (which is used to prolong use of non-maternity pants) and the support it provides actually feels good.  The next step is upgrading to a legitimate belly belt.

The girls have been WONDERFUL and have played so well inside the house.  So long as I have doors locked and gates up, I am pretty good to go on the couch for awhile.  If all else fails, Caillou is my best friend, as Sissy will sit for episodes on end while it's on the TV.  It's pretty much my golden ticket, that I try to only pull if I'm in dire straights.  By the grace of God, Emmy has napped this week, which has enabled me to nap each day, too.  We have paid for it on the back end with her wakefulness late at night, but at least she's pleasant and Nick is typically home to help me redirect her back to her room.  Sissy has been taking uncharacteristically long naps, too (3 plus hours!)  It helps the days to go by just a tad more quickly.

I got a burst of energy come Friday (hence the recycling field trip,) and did the babies' laundry and loaded their dresser.  Boy did that make it real (as if my ginormous belly wasn't enough of a reality check.)  I forget how small newborn clothing is, and I am getting more and more excited to lay eyes on these two and to hold them in my arms. 

31 weeks!

Pretty sure my maternity shirts are getting a little short on me.  I refuse to buy new ones, though, so I might look a little hillbilly for the next several weeks.  I just had an appointment with Dr. Anderson yesterday and got some great news...For the time being, both babies are head down!  I'm hopeful that, given their size, turning breech again will prove to be too difficult for them.  I am measuring 36 weeks (shocking, really, I feel like I look about 46 weeks) and their heartbeats were good and strong!  I pestered Dr. Anderson for his call schedule so that I might have some idea of when these kiddos will be evicted if they don't come on their own first.  He said that he likes to deliver all of his own twins, so he gave me his cell phone number to call him if we do go into labor early, and promised that he'll be there if he's available...What a gift!  To (hopefully) have all of our babies delivered by the same doctor is unheard of for army families. We also decided that, if they don't come on their own before, the babies will be induced on September 19th!!  I am so excited to have a date to which I can count down! I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

This week has been more of the same...braxton hicks contractions when I am on the move or when the babies are on the move. Lightheaded spells and generalized weakness.  Sleep has been tricky with a couple of bathroom runs a night and wake ups each time I shift from my right to left side.  I have also been sleeping a little lighter because I am trying to be considerate, giving Nick enough room to sleep.  I took full advantage of our entire queen-sized bed during the deployment, sleeping on the diagonal.  The only benefit of the deployment (well, that and less laundry...) I am lucky if I get out and run one errand a day, lots of days it seems I use up all of my energy reserves by mid-morning.  I completely overdid it yesterday with multiple errands and lots of time on my feet cooking and picking up the house before interviewing a potential housecleaner.  I paid for it with fairly regular uncomfortable contractions for a handful of hours last night.  That was all I needed to remind me why I am as sedentary as I have been.  Nothing is worth pushing through my body's warning signs to get done.  I feel significantly better this morning (even after a fitful night of sleep), although I feel as though I just ran a marathon.  Lucky for me, Nick has a long weekend (YAHOO!!!)  and so I have a very able-bodied person to help with the "heavy lifting" today (i.e. extract Hannah from places she shouldn't be.)  41 more days to go!!! :)

I must say that our Emmy's excitement for the babies' arrival is thrilling.  She asks me daily when the babies are coming (and even approached the subject of how they are going to get here... :-P)  In most of her fantasy play someone is having at least one baby, usually two.  And their names are James and Julia.  She has been very gentle and does a fantastic job circling her play around me on the couch.  Most recently, we were on a boat (the couch) taking refuge from shark-infested waters (the floor) and she nestled each of her toys around me as she was triaging them for their many wounds and illnesses.  I have also been Emmy's lucky sole hair salon client, and have had my hair done every day, which, given how gentle she is, I view it as being a daily scalp massage.  Along the same lines, Sissy has taken up playing cars on my back, which, when she's not banging them, can resemble a good back scratch!  Couch parenting does have some up-sides! :-P

Daddy's home!!

Not three minutes after we'd arrived home from dropping Mimi off at the airport did my Nick's handsome face pop up on my phone announcing his return!  The girls and I sped to the compound to go retrieve our love and bring him home!  He was dog tired from the crazy sleep that he'd had since leaving Afghanistan, but managed to rally long enough until bedtime, when he promptly fell asleep rocking Sissy to sleep.  He awoke about an hour later to Emmy's bedtime boycott whines and then fell back to sleep just minutes later cuddling her to sleep.  :)

Killing time while Daddy accounts for all sensitive items from the flight home...

Daddy and his little "helper." (and I use that term loosely.)

Sissy's pitiful mood after Mimi's departure took a sharp turn after she laid eyes on Daddy.  She must've said his name no less than 50 times on the drive home. :-P Pardon the frames, they are waiting to display pictures of James and Julia's sweet faces. :)

Daddy and his two shadows. ;)

This meal calls for an extra large beer!

Mimi's visit!!

After Mom and Dad finished up their European adventure, Mom took a quick week to tie up loose ends before coming to join me for two weeks!  I considered Mom's arrival to be my finish line of sorts with the deployment because I knew that from here on out I had a safety net!  As soon as Mom laid eyes on me at the airport (which was a good football field away in distance I might add), she motioned to me not to walk any closer, that she was coming to me. :-P  She was giggling as she validated all of the tales I had told her about my giant belly.  To her, this is such a special walk down memory lane; and I am so excited that we get to swap twin pregnancy stories. :)

From the moment she got to the car, she refused to let me lift a finger.  She chased Sissy, prepared meals, watched the girls while I went to a handful of doctor's appointments, stayed home with Sissy so that Emmy and I could have a couple of shopping trips, did every household chore from laundry to dishes, sterilized my entire house, pruned, weeded and refreshed my planters outside, sprayed for the nasty bugs feasting on my roses, she helped me check so many things off my to do list in sprucing up the house and readying the nursery, and ensured that I never had an empty water glass.  She even noticed my dry skin and rubbed lotion all over my feet...Incredible.  Beyond all else, just getting to live life with her again was such a beautiful thing.  Her being here provided so much comfort, peace and joy and was the most incredible gift.

A week into the trip, Kris and the kiddos arrived for some fun!  As soon as they walked in the door, my Emmy and Hannah were off playing with their cousins.  Emmy has reached a phase where she gets completely engrossed in fantasy play, so having Clairey to help her weave her fantastic tales was more than a treat to all of us!  Hannah and Jakie adore one another, and it didn't take long to see who wears the pants in that relationship...Hannah would take from Jakie and flaunt his things in his face while he so kindly shared everything with her.  It was so fun to be able to laugh with Mom and Kris over Sissy's antics.  They played outside on Nick's masterfully built swing set from the moment the dewy grass was dry until dinner was ready each day, all under Kris' tireless supervision.  Mom and Kris would carry chairs down to the shade so that I could sit and be with everyone while the kids played, ensuring that I always had a giant cup ice water in my hand (once I had two cups because Mom and Kris were both thinking alike.)  I was so spoiled and felt so cared for, and so very appreciative.

I had a high risk ultrasound scheduled for one of the days that Mom was visiting, and was tickled to be able to bring her. :)  My trusty sitter watched the girls so that Mom and I could spend the day in Nashville, it's such a rarity for us to spend time together without the children.  It was so fun to be able to share the ultrasound with her (and laugh about James' huge size!)  We went to lunch at a restaurant that had cloth napkins and no kids, and loved every leisurely bite of our delicious meals!  We then did some shopping, and were supremely productive without the girls' distraction and limited stamina! I am so grateful to have had that day together.

Andy is the best sport to play Cinderella with the girls.

My new favorite picture of Emmy...It's hard to get a genuine smile out of her when the camera comes out. :)

BFFs

Mimi did much of her work with Sissy on her hip.  I could be sitting on the couch with an episode of Caillou on and Sissy would still run to Mimi and insist that she be held.

Mimi was always within Sissy's reach.

Celebrating Mimi's birthday!

Watching Emmy's very favorite movie, the classic, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers!"  Mimi and Papa gifted her a copy so that she doesn't have to wait for it to be on the shelf at the library anymore!  Emmy thanked God for it twice during prayers that night! haha!

29 & 30 weeks

29 weeks!

30 weeks!

The last couple of weeks have been wonderful with my mom here to help me!  I'll save all the details and photos from our visit for another post, but I am eternally grateful to her for her company and for her help.  Among other things, I have had a number of doctor's appointments (between dental, OB and ultrasound) in the last two weeks.  The latest on the babies is that I my belly is measuring 35 weeks, I don't have gestational diabetes (praise the Lord!), Julia is head down on my right side and James is transverse.  Their positioning will be an important determinant for how I am able to deliver, particularly Julia who will be born first as baby A.  She's a bit of a wild child, so I am hoping that given their size and how snuggly they fit right now, she will remain head down for the remainder of the pregnancy.  Speaking of size, they are beefing up, big time!  According to the ultrasound, Julia is measuring 3 pounds 5 ounces and James is 4 pounds 8 ounces! My jaw hit the floor when the technician shared the estimates with us!  Apparently there is a plus or minus 11 ounce disclaimer that comes with the estimated weights, but I am so relieved that they are so sturdy already.  I am, admittedly, a little nervous about how big they might be in a couple of months when I (hopefully) deliver, though!

They were both practicing breathing during the ultrasound, and their heartbeats were strong!  We were able to see that they both have hair already too, which is a good explanation for the heartburn that is now setting in!  It's all such a miracle to me. :)