Update

I just want to let you know that we are doing as well as can be considering the circumstances.  I will give more details, there are just so many, once I have the time to reflect...

Nick and his soldiers held a beautiful Memorial service for all of the fallen last Friday at 1300 Afghanistan time.  Nick had the unimaginably difficult responsibility of speaking about his three soldiers, Matt Wagstaff, Jonah McClellan and Marvin Calhoun.  The wives of his soldiers tell me it was nothing short of moving.  There were a large number of military dignitaries present to celebrate these soldiers including General Petraeus, General Rodriguez, General Campbell and many others who I didn't have a chance to write down.  Nick tells me that he wasn't nervous about his audience, but he was hoping to not lose his composure.  Despite how difficult his job, he made it through without breaking down.  He was very relieved for that.  Once the video from the event arrives back in the states, and the families of the fallen receive their copies, we will have a viewing of it for all the Lancer families.  I know for certain it will help with the grieving process and begin to provide some closure.  Nick tells me that last Friday was the first day his entire company of soldiers were in the same room since last January.  They were all "back in the saddle" completing their various missions the following day.

On the home front, things have been very chaotic providing support to our one local widow, offering opportunities for the wives of the surviving soldiers to grieve and coordinating gatherings, tributes and travel to funerals.  Once the 24 hour waiting period had lapsed after the final notification of kin had occurred my phone has rung consistently with people seeking information and support.

Marin and Lindsey showed up on my doorstep Thursday morning and helped me care for Emmy and comforted me between phone calls.  It was exactly what I needed, I am so grateful for their help.

That evening, our company was briefed on what information could be shared, it became even more apparent to me then what an incredible group of families I am working with.  Their strength is nothing short of inspiring.  Friday morning, one of our spouses welcomed everyone into her home for some playtime for our children and some "group therapy" for the spouses.  Right now, our wives are struggling with a great deal of survivor's guilt and are in great need of talking it out with eachother.

Saturday morning was our Video Teleconference FRG Meeting.  It had been on the calendar weeks ago as a celebration for the halfway mark of the deployment, but it now served as a much more important gathering.  Our soldiers and their wives were able to meet at one (virtual) table to discuss how we intend to move forward.  After the formal meeting concluded, we had"open mic" where families could privately meet and see one another.  Because our internet connection is poor, most of our families have not been able to see one another in months.  Nick and I got very positive feedback, which was an incredible relief to us both.

At my request, Kris drove in to help me on Friday night and Mom arrived on Saturday.  Emmy is as cheerful and active as ever, which under most circumstances I would love, but it has made it very difficult for me to complete all that I need to for our grieving Lancer families.  I feel so blessed to have their help, and the help of everyone who have offered.  Thank you all so much.

I am in the process of tying up some loose ends and packing.  Mom and I leave with Emmy and the dogs tomorrow to travel to Kris and JP's house in Indiana.  From there, I will be leaving Thursday morning for Battle Ground, Washington for CW2 Jonah McClellan's viewing and funeral services.  Friday night, I will be flying back to Indiana for SGT Marvin Calhoun's funeral on Saturday morning (it is taking place in Elkhart, Indiana).  Monday morning I am traveling to Orem, Utah for CW3 Matt Wagstaff's viewing and funeral services.

This tragedy has rocked us all to our core.  Despite the incredible pain that so many people are struggling with, there have been so many examples of God's work in the last week and months prior to this tragedy.  One of our widows has confirmed that to me as well.  I just don't know how we would get through this without our faith and our trust in God.

Gone But Not Forgotten

Five 101st Airborne soldiers are confirmed to be among 9 killed in a helicopter crash in southern Afghanistan.

The Associated Press is reporting that the soldiers are all from the 101st Combat Aviation Brigade, which deployed to southern Afghanistan in March.

All of the families have been notified, according to Fort Campbell spokesman Rick Rzepka.

Killed were:

• Maj. Robert Francis Baldwin, 37, of New Boston, Ill. Baldwin entered the Army in February 1994 and arrived at Fort Campbell in January 2007. Baldwin was an Aviation Liaison Officer assigned to Headquarters and Headquarters Company.

Baldwin is survived by his wife, Danielle M. Baldwin; daughters Rachel and Meaghan Baldwin; and sons Keegan and Patrick Baldwin, all of Clarksville. He is also survived by parents Gary and Cheryl Baldwin of New Boston, Ill.

• Chief Warrant Officer 3 Matthew Gabriel Wagstaff, 34, of Orem, Utah. Wagstaff entered the Army in January 2002 and arrived at Fort Campbell in May 2007.

Wagstaff was a UH-60 Black Hawk pilot assigned to Bravo Company, 5th Battalion.

Wagstaff is survived by his wife, Tiffany A. Wagstaff of Clarksville; and parents Ronald and Suzanne Wagstaff of Orem, Utah.

• Chief Warrant Officer 2 Jonah David McClellan, 26, of Minnesota. McClellan entered the Army in August 2003 and arrived at Fort Campbell in September 2006. McClellan was a UH-60 Black Hawk pilot assigned to Bravo Company, 5th Battalion.

McClellan is survived by his wife, Nina S. McClellan; sons Ayden and Renn McClellan; daughter Ayla M. McClellan; and parents Rodney and Susan McClellan, all of Battle Ground, Wash.

• Staff Sgt. Joshua David Powell, 25, of New Berlin, Ill. Powell entered the Army in November 2004 and arrived at Fort Campbell in June 2005. Powell was a UH-60 Black Hawk crew chief assigned to Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 6th Battalion.

Powell is survived by his father, David A. Powell of Springfield, Ill., and his mother, Susan B. Needham of Pleasant Plains, Ill.

• Sgt. Marvin Ray Calhoun Jr., 23, of Osceola, Ind. Calhoun entered the Army in June 2006 and arrived at Fort Campbell in December 2007. Calhoun was a construction equipment repairer serving as a door gunner and was assigned to Bravo Company, 5th Battalion.

Calhoun is survived by his wife, Yamili Sanchez, and daughter, Yohani Sanchez of Fort Hood, Texas, and parents, Marvin Calhoun Sr. and Susan Needham of Elkhart, Ind.

The helicopter crashed Tuesday near Qalat, Afghanistan. International Security Assistance Force officials have said there were no reports of enemy fire at the time. The crash is the worst in four years in Afghanistan.

Maj. Robert Francis Baldwin

Chief Warrant Officer 3 Matthew Gabriel Wagstaff

Chief Warrant Officer 2 Jonah David McCllelan



Staff Sgt. Joshua David Powell

                                            

                                                        Sgt. Marvin Ray Calhoun Jr

Please Pray

Nick is safe.  We ask that you help us to pray for our families affected by the recent helicopter crash.  I will share information when I have it and am able.  The notification of kin process has been completed for our soldiers, but as of now, it isn't finished for the remaining four soldiers from different units.  Army policy states that there is a 24 hour waiting period after the last kin has been notified before the names of the dead are released.  This is, understandably, out of respect for grieving family members.

As of now, this is the official statement released by the army to our Lancer families:

Five 101st Airborne Division Soldiers were killed September 21, when an
International Security Assistance Force helicopter crashed in southern
Afghanistan.

In all, nine ISAF service members were killed when their UH-60 Blackhawk
helicopter crashed in Qalat, Afghanistan.  Two ISAF service members, an
Afghan National Army soldier and a U.S. civilian received injuries in the
crash and were transported to an ISAF medical facility for treatment. 
There are no reports of enemy fire in the area and the cause of the crash
remains under investigation.


The five 101st Airborne Division Soldiers were all assigned to the 101st
Combat Aviation Brigade, which began its deployment to Afghanistan in March
2010.  Notifications have been made to the Families of the fallen.

9 months old, 6 months down & 2 months to R&R!!

Today marks an enormous milestone for our family as we close the book on the first six months of this deployment and we celebrate Emmy's nine month old status!!  I am both overjoyed and amazed that our countdown ticker has hit the halfway point, but admittedly overwhelmed at the thought of facing another six months.  Nick and I agree that setting short-term countdowns in the meantime is imperative, especially at a time like this.  So we are focusing our energy on counting down to mid-November when we reunite for two weeks of Rest and Recuperation!!  (If only I had a penny for each time I've dreamt of the moment we first lay eyes on him at the airport...)  After that point, we will truly be in the home stretch of the deployment; which seems a little less daunting when we look at it from that vantage point.

Each week Emmy seems to be coming more into her own.  She is still in perpetual motion, rolling everywhere she could possible want to go.  She has started pulling herself to her knees; and just today started rocking when on all fours.  She still boasts two teeth.  I am anticipating the next one any day now given the chewing, drool, fussing and her periodic interrupted sleep pattern.  She has become very fascinated by tracing things with her pointer finger and prefers "touch and feel" board books.  She takes her responsibility as our page-turner very seriously, which renders me awestruck no matter how many times she's done it.  She chatters on with her favorite sounds including: "aye," "dadada," "bababa,""lalala" and "vavava," not to forget the eardrum-rattling shrieks that she unleashes at all the least opportune times.  She might develop premature lines from the amount of smiling she does in a day, which is evidence of her happy, playful nature.  I have alternated the framed pictures in our home to my favorites of Emmy and Nick.  Throughout our day, we "converse" with Dada in passing.  Emmy has started grinning and "waving" at the pictures when we are near them.  The thought of Emmy demonstrating her obvious love for Dada in person leaves me misty-eyed.  (Not too much longer, not too much longer, not too much longer...)

Nick is in the throes of his Groundhog's day routine.  His days are filled working excessively long hours flying, completing administrative tasks and counseling his soldiers.  He's dealt with some serious personnel issues ranging from unsatisfactory workmanship, bad attitudes, poor physical fitness,  unprepared family care plans, infidelity, conflict associated with illegitimate children, marriages dissolving and suicide risks; and those are the cases he's mentioned to me.  Who knows how many high risk situations there are yet to be identified.  Only the army would be so intimately involved in it's employees' personal lives, but I understand that it's because there is so much at stake.  A soldier's mind clouded with stressors can ultimately lead to casualties.  So for now, Nick gets to wrestle with everyone's stressors.  I guess that makes him super human...I already knew that.

Working out and Skype calls home is how he fills his nearly non-existant wakeful downtime.  He actually took a "day off" a few weeks ago!  It was his first day with less than 10 hours of work since he arrived in theatre!  He slept in, had a lunch date with Emmy on the computer, took a long shower, drove his Commander's SUV (which is typically in use by someone else) to work, but not before stopping off at the "Green Beans Coffee Shop" for a sandwich and a mocha latte.  While at work, everyone was instructed not to bother him unless there was an emergency, which, thankfully there was not.  He stayed in his office for a few hours before calling it a day.  He was so tickled about his "off day," I can't remember the last time I heard him so "relaxed!"

Our Walk to Afghanistan challenge and Operation Pick-Me-Up have both far exceeded our wildest expectations!  Our families have collectively traveled 5,607.96 miles in our 10,644 mile trek to Afghanistan!!  There is no denying their desire to bridge the distance!!  How appropriate that we have just passed the halfway point!  As for Operation Pick-Me-Up, it has been made clear to us that our Lancers are greatly loved.  Family and friends have come out of the woodworks to support the cause!  It seems that everyone wants to offer support, they have just needed an outlet.  Every project thus far has become so much greater than Nick and I had originally planned!  Thank you for all of your support and your incredibly generous donations of wishlist items to help boost morale!  Our soldiers are amazed by your kindness and Nick and I are deeply moved by your selflessness.  Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I, for one, have found great satisfaction in my ritual of marking an "X" of the calendar and kicking back with a York Peppermint Patty at each day's end.  It's hard to say how much sugar I have ingested over the last six months, but I do believe, I have earned every last bit of it.

9 months old!

On all fours (or fives, including her head).

Fascinated by her ability to wave...

Ravenous Reader:

Deeply intrigued by farm animals.

She was mocking the dogs here, one of her most favorite pastimes.

Emmy Goes To School

Unlike myself, Emmy LOVES to draw attention to herself :-P.  There are places where that's appropriate and others where other people don't find it very cute.  I realized that there is only so long that I can acceptably use the excuse that I have a baby at home as a reason to duck out of child-unfriendly engagements.  So, I decided it was time to put aside our separation anxiety, and open our minds to childcare, or as I like to think of it, "school," for those really necessary appointments.

Given my weekly summons from church service to comfort my sobbing baby, my hopes weren't exceptionally high for this new push for "school."  Despite the urge I have to stay home to avoid the (Emmy) tears, I have reminded myself of the importance and so we've kept trying.  Finally, two weeks ago, Emmy lasted the entire service while in the care of Miss Debbie (who, thankfully, "has Emmy's number.") This success gave me a bit more confidence and a wonderfully rejuvenating church experience.  God knew that I needed it!

This past Sunday, Emmy's good mood lasted into the night as she hung out with all the other kiddos and babysitters during my church small group gathering!  I was hugely pleased, especially because we weren't finished until two hours after her typical bedtime (6:15 pm).  She kept it together until we got into the car, at which time, holy H-E-double hockey sticks broke loose.  To her credit, she handled the separation part really well.

My girlfriend, Lindsey, was telling me over breakfast last week about the pre-school class that she and our friend, Jill, lead for the one year olds.  She also informed me that they have some vacancies, and in an effort to fill those spots, the director is welcoming babies under one years old for drop in care!  I took Emmy for a trial play time the next day.  As I handed her over to Lindsey, the baby whisperer, she didn't so much as look back at me!  An hour and a half and a trunk full of groceries later, I returned to a happy Emmy girl!  Lindsey shared the pictures below from Emmy's first day at "school!"  She must've been reading my mind when I was wishing to be a fly on the wall.

Today came the granddaddy of all separation tests. Emmy had to go to the childcare on Post while I knocked out day one of my two day, ten hour, FRG Leader training.  (I am nine months into the job and I put it off until someone noticed.  What are they going to do? Fire me?)  Five hours later, I walked into the door to find my happy girl playing with the other babies.  I think my heart swelled with joy.  I really, REALLY hope that I didn't just jinx tomorrow...

Now I need a break from breaks from my baby...I miss my girl.

Emmy playing with her food.

Emmy and Dane, buddies from church group!

I can't help but smile each time I look at this picture!

Remembering 9/11/01

Everyone has their story.  Nine years ago today, I remember waking up in my sorority house bedroom to the sound of my phone ringing.  It was my Nick calling to tell me to turn on the news.  In a fog, I found the remote and promptly powered the T.V. to on.  Moments later, the image of the second plane hitting the World Trade Center flashed across the screen.  We sat there, silent, taking in the horror.

We had been together just two weeks prior.  We celebrated Nick's Ring Weekend at West Point, and then spent the rest of the weekend living large with all of our friends in New York City...One of our many stops was to the World Trade Center, where we rode the elevator to the 106th floor of the North Tower to the Windows on the World restaurant for brunch.  It was our second time there, but we were still in such awe of the whole experience.  We spent the majority of our meal looking out the windows, marveling over the fact that we were literally on top of the world.

I picked up my developed pictures from the trip the day the towers collapsed.  Emotions raw, my wonderful memories were quickly replaced with fear...I remembered riding up the elevator and the excited feeling I had; and then I thought of the friendly port authority doorman who rode up with us and I wondered if he was working that day.  I remembered our waitress and the delicious meal she served us; and then prayed that she wasn't trapped inside the building.  Then I worried about the chatterbox bathroom attendant, and...They put a face on the terrified people who leapt to their death from the upper floors of the towers; because that was their only way out.  Those images are so deeply burned into my mind.  To say that they haunt me would be putting it mildly.

As the following hours and days passed, we began looking at our future on a wider scale.  It became clear that our country was no longer in peacetime.  Overnight, my Nick's military career drastically changed.   Like everyone, life for us has never been the same.

Saturday, August 25th, 2001

 Windows on the World Restaurant

Hi Dada!

I love you Dada!

Just Three Words...

A FINE SPECIMEN

Many of Emmy's friends have nobly volunteered their baby minds to university research studies.  Emmy, however, has donated her time and physique to assisting local massage therapy students master the art of infant massage.  How very big of her...

It seems that she loves a good foot rub...Girl after my own heart...

Emmy became distracted by the other "babies" being practiced on...

Thank you Miss Amy!  Bring on the awesome nap!

Gunner takes bullet to helmet in rescue - Army News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Army Times

One of Nick's soldiers, SPC Patricia Fowler, was recently awarded the Purple Heart.  Her story is shared in this article:

Gunner takes bullet to helmet in rescue - Army News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Army Times

Fall has Fallen!!!

Happy Fall, everyone!  This is my FAVORITE time of the year, by a landslide!  There is something about the autumn light casting a glow that makes everything look more beautiful; not to mention, my mowing days are rapidly coming to an end for the year (YAHOO!!)!  This fall has an even greater significance, because, in a TWO short months our family will be back together, even if for just a couple of weeks!  There is no way this season could get any better!!

Emmy and I celebrated the first day under 80 degrees (heck, 100 degrees) with a special field trip!  We went to Cheekwood Botanical Gardens in Nashville to experience the outdoor art display of Chihuly blown glass.  I couldn't have dreamt up a more beautiful gallery where these intricate glass "creations" could be exhibited.  Emmy and I joined the masses of other camera-toting folk to take in all of the original pieces nestled into the gorgeous garden...

Yes, that is all glass...It was AMAZING!

A row boat filled with glass

Just like Christmas bulbs floating in the pond.

Emmy insisted that her sunblock be in the picture too.

Boycotting the camera. 

Doing anything to not look at the camera...

One of our favorites!

Little glass glaciers in the pond

The colors were stunningly beautiful, especially under the fall sun (man, I love this season!)

Got my hairs did

I picked up some Emmy-sized hair bands at the store this week.  It was such a strange feeling perusing the little girls' hair accessory aisle as it is such a right of passage!  Later that afternoon, I tackled my little monkey and held her still just long enough to do her hair.  It took a couple of tries, but I was finally able to gather the few hairs that would come together and wrap the band around them...

TA DA!!!!