16 hours old!

I just made my way to the NICU to bring them some milk and got to lay eyes on our sleeping beauties...Can't wait to hold them in my arms. :)

James is out like a light.

Sweet Jules.

...And then there were 6

This is totally unedited and just a stream of consciousness before I crash for awhile...

Final prego picture (EVER!)

35 weeks and 1 day, right before I left for the hospital:

Our precious Julia Kristin

Nick and Jules

Our James

Mommy & James

Our men!

Mommy & Daddy (well, part of) with James

Mommy and Daddy with Julia

My hope is to document our sweet James and Julia's birthday while the memories are still remotely fresh.  I must admit that Hannah's rapid birth spoiled me, and I came into their labor and delivery thinking that it might be just as quick.  Boy was I mistaken...

On Monday night (9/2) I kept waking up to really uncomfortable contractions.  I finally took to the couch thinking that maybe I could curl up in a ball and it might provide some relief.  I managed to sleep on the couch for a few hours until Nick found me at his 430 wake up and carried me back to bed.  I slept intermittently before the kiddos woke up bright and early for their very first day of Mom's Day Out (which we affectionately refer to as being "school".)

I will share all of the details from the girls' first day of school in a separate post, because it was just that fantastic, but I will say that I was powering through some regular and uncomfortable contractions to get us out of the door (somewhat) on time.  I had planned to grocery shop during their school time, but it was very clear to me that there was no way that I would be able to last standing upright.  I just felt weird.  I decided that I would go to Babies R Us to get the girls' big sister gifts (the only thing left on my pre-baby to-do list) and figured that since I already knew what I was going to get, it would be a very quick stop.  That didn't much matter, though, because my contractions just kept coming, to the point that I didn't know if I would make it to the car without doubling over.  After I (successfully) arrived at the car, I sat there for awhile contemplating if I should just drive the mile or so to the hospital for a labor check.  I decided that maybe if I had some lunch I would feel a little better, so I grabbed half a sandwich at Panera Bread and ate it in the parking lot, while still contemplating the trip to Labor and Delivery while the girls still had a few hours at school.  There was this feeling in the pit of my stomach, though, that told me that this is the last lunch out I'd be eating for awhile.

I then decided that I'd better go home to hydrate and lay down for the remainder of the girls' school day and see if that helped.  It didn't.  I finally texted my incredible sitter to see if she could come over as soon as I arrived home from picking the girls up at school so that I could go to the hospital for a labor check.  She texted me that she was on her way (I love her so much.)  I threw a few more things in my "go bag" and drove to the hospital.  The whole time my gut was telling me that this was it.  God bless my Nick, who has been up since before dawn for a class.  He called me every break he had to check on me.  We had made a pact that I would go to the hospital to get checked and if they admitted me, he would come join me.

I arrived at the hospital feeling strangely calm.  As I sat in the waiting area to be registered, I texted Dr. Anderson, as directed, to let him know that I was there to get checked after frequent and regular contractions since the night before.  He wrote back: "Prefect. I'm on call, so I'll come check on you. "exciting with a hint of anxiousness." All 3 of you will be fine."  I believe that was the sign that I had been asking God for that I was making the right decision to go into the hospital.   The woman who was registering me was as flustered as could possibly be knowing that I was potentially in labor.  She was as nice as can be, but couldn't get me out of her office fast enough.  When I got to Labor and Delivery (at just before 4PM), I was quickly changed into my gown and hooked up to monitors to check both babies' heart rates as well as my contraction frequency and intensity.  Soon thereafter they "checked" only to learn that I had achieved 4 cm.  Dr. Anderson told the nurse to admit me by 5PM.

After getting my IV started, labs drawn, and monitors replaced, I had to hunker down and let the contractions do their job.  At this point they were getting much more uncomfortable, and I was sure that  things would go rather quickly.  Nick and Dr. Anderson walked in together, both with giant smiles on their faces.  I was so grateful to see them both!

Dr. Anderson checked me and said that he wanted Julia's head to come down a little more before he would break my water and order the epidural, so I had to keep on keepin' on with my contractions for awhile longer.  So I did.  It wasn't until 1030 last night that Julia was finally in the place that Dr. Anderson had wanted, at which time, he broke my water.  I was now in an acceptable place to get my epidural, and when they asked if I wanted one, I gave an emphatic "YES!"  I followed up asking if there were any impending c-sections that might detain the anesthesiologist (which is what prolonged my epidural for so long with Emmy, which made that labor experience especially painful.)  Both Dr. Anderson and my nurse, Cindy, assured me that there wasn't...But...Then I found out there was a stat c-section and that the anesthesiologist wouldn't be done for another hour, and had one other laboring woman to tend to before me...So, I rallied until 1230am when my epidural was placed...Hallelujah!

At this point, I my cervical progression was at a crawl--5cm to 6cm to 6.5cm to 7...It took me until 6am to get to 9cm, which I proceeded to stay for another 6 hours.  I was checked multiple times, and each time I learned that I was stuck at 9cm, I became more and more discouraged.  My epidural was effectively giving me dead legs and I was unable to feel any contractions or pressure, so I felt as though I was just sitting and waiting for change.  According to my nurse, there wasn't anything I could really do to help it along.  The nurse said it was highly unusual to be stuck at 9cm for so long, and wondered allowed if there was some way James was holding Julia back.  I had been praying and meditating, and trying so badly to go to my happy place over all the hours that we were in a holding pattern.  I finally decided to change positions and lay on James' side, so that if he was in face holding Julia back, he would be pulled away from her.  After about 5 minutes on my side, I started noticing the pressure that I had been praying for, and the contractions started feeling stronger.  My epidural seemed to be lifting just enough for me to have some feeling.  At noon, Dr. Anderson came in to check me one last time, and asked me to push through a few contractions to see if I could somehow get to 10cm.  He said that if I wasn't able to, then we would need to go back to the OR for a c-section (I had been laboring for 16 hours at this point.)  I pushed once...twice...and then the third time he said, "Ok, we got her to 10, lets get her back to the OR!"  I couldn't believe my ears!  Thank the Lord for answered prayers!!

They delivered me in the OR just in case they would need to do an emergency c-section, particularly with James, who, upon the last ultrasound, was still breech.  With the company of Dr. Anderson, two nurses, a scrub tech, the anesthesiologist, neonatologist, neonatal nurse practitioner and RN, Nick and I were to meet our babies!  They all moved so quickly to get everything in place so that I could deliver the babies.  Within three pushes, our beautiful Julia was born, at 1257, and weighed in at 5 pounds 2 ounces!  They whisked her away to the warmer to asses her, as she gave our a shrill cry!  Afterwards, Dr. Anderson went back to the ultrasound to see which position James was assuming now with his sister out.  He was still breech, but Dr. Anderson expertly massaged my belly to turn him around.  He leaned in to tell me that he got him head down.  Another incredible blessing!  With the nurse holding James in place, I was able to deliver him in six pushes.  Our handsome James was born at 1:21 weighing 6 pounds even!  "Joyful" doesn't even begin to describe the feeling of having our babies here, and the way that their delivery ended up.  I am so very thankful for every blessing bestowed upon us.

James and Julia went back to the NICU for their transition period, and have since been admitted.  They both were showing some signs that they needed a little respiratory support, so they both have a nasal cannula with just room air (their oxygen saturation has been very good.)  Their chest x-rays show that they might've swallowed a little bit of fluid, but are really not concerning to the neonatologist.  Julia's initial blood sugar was 36, so she needed a little feeding of formula to bump it up-which it did, successfully.  They both have IVs right now for fluids, and are otherwise not taking feedings until their breathing rate and effort improves.  They are really doing wonderfully, and their condition is very understandable given that they are a bit premature.  The nurse practitioner estimated that they'll be in the NICU for about a week...We are sad to be away from them, but know that they are where they need to be right now to get the best start possible.

The kids (well, Emmy) could not be more excited about James and Julia's arrival.  Last night, Nick ran home to change out of his uniform and saw Emmy as Ericka was putting her to bed.  Emmy asked if the babies had come yet, and Nick explained that if she went to bed right away, when she woke up the babies would be here (or so he thought.)  She quickly told Miss Ericka that she needed to go to bed right away. :)

Kris, Clairey and Jacob so kindly drove to town last night after we got confirmation that I was being admitted.  They arrived just a hair after midnight.  We are so grateful for their help!  Emmy and Sissy are so excited to be passing the time with their cousins!  Kris was keeping us posted with their goings-on today through text conversations and pictures.  Our favorite was that Emmy's very first words this morning, upon seeing Kris downstairs was, "Auntie Kristi, the babies are not in their cribs.  I already checked."  :)

Other than feeling sore and some pain, I feel on top of the world.  I am already freed from the many, many discomforts that came with this pregnancy, and I feel as though I have a new lease on life!  I am pumping while the babies are in the NICU in order to establish a good milk supply.  I miss them so much, but I am grateful they are getting the help they need, and am choosing to take this time to get myself as strong and well as possible before they are relying on me completely.  I can't even believe that they're here, and we are a family of 6 now...God is so GOOD.

35 weeks!

Nick told me the black shirt is slimming...Boy do I love that man!

Nick and Derek took all 6 kids for a hike...I was so impressed!

Nick took our girls out on their newfound trail the next day. :)  I love this picture of them, it's my new favorite picture of Nick.  I love his smile. :)

My girls and I watching Caillou one afternoon.  This is how we roll.

When Sissy was climbing on me one morning, I noticed she had stuck some pancake in her ear.  Never a dull moment with that little one.

A few of my "nesting" house projects:

The Good Samaritan

I have heard every rude pregnancy question and comment in the book since I started showing this time around.  Seriously, it's incredible the things that people will say.  However, today in Target, as I was in line purchasing the outfits the girls picked out for their first day of school, I came upon a good samaritan.  The cashier was commenting on how fun it is to buy frilly clothes and asked if I knew if I was having a boy or girl.  I told her "both...one of each."  Enter good samaritan.  The kind woman behind me in line, said, very genuinely I might add, "You're having twins??  You aren't big at all!!"  To which I thanked her profusely for her kindness and told her that she is the first person to say that to me, I'm typically reminded of how huge I am.  She asked if I was scared, I told her that I was terrified, and she squeezed my arm and told me I was going to be great.  She probably has no idea how she made my whole entire day, but she did.

34 weeks!

I am grateful for each morning that I wake up still pregnant.  I feel really miserable, and am more than ready to be finished with this pregnancy, but I want so badly to get these babies to a point where they are healthy and able to come home with us after they are born.  My hope is to make it to at least 35 weeks, but 36 would be even better.  I honestly hadn't ever really thought about the ramifications of having the twins remain at the hospital in the NICU after I come home until this past week.  If it's God's Will, then so be it, but if there is anything I can do to ensure that they cook longer, then I will do it.

I am just flooded with emotions right now.  I have forgotten what it feels like to actually feel good, and look forward regaining my ability to function.  At the same time I know that once the babies are here, life will never be the same.  As uncomfortable as I am, I know that carrying the babies in utero is significantly easier logistically than carrying them in my arms.  As is feeding them via umbilical cord versus nursing them.  Nursing both Emmy and Hannah was excruciatingly painful for the first six or so weeks, and thinking about nursing the two is really frightening to me.  But, I am committed.  My girls have been so healthy and I want the same for James and Julia.  The good news, is that as an experienced mama, I know that it gets better with time and practice, it's just the getting there part that makes me really anxious.  With Hannah, the cramping I experienced as my insides shrunk down to size, left me doubled over in tears for the first couple of weeks post partum.  I needed the strongest pain meds Dr. Anderson had prescribed me in order to be somewhat comfortable.  Everything that I have read indicates that it gets worse with each subsequent pregnancy.  Knowing this, and that I will have much further to "shrink" makes me nervous, too.  I know it will still be quite some time until I truly feel like myself again, even after I deliver these peanuts.  I have such empathy for those who are chronically ill after this pregnancy.

I had a doctor's appointment today, and no cervical progress has been made.  Thankfully, I'm still at 2cm and 50%.  I am measuring 42 weeks and Julia remains head down, while James is side-lying.  He managed to lodge his head in the right side of my rib cage with his tush in the left side.  This new position explains all the discomfort I've had in my ribs as of late!  The unfortunate news is that Dr. Anderson said that if James stays in this position when I go into labor, he would insist on a c-section.  It is far to risky to attempt to deliver him any other way.  He also informed me that, so long as he's in town he will do everything he can to deliver the babies, but on the off chance one of his colleagues should need to, they likely would do a c-section unless both babies were head-down, given their discomfort and inexperience with delivering breech babies.  I am grateful to have had the heads up, so that I can be mentally prepared, but I am prayerful that James is just working his way around.  We'll see how it goes...

33 weeks!

This week I had both an ultrasound and regular OB appointment.  The ultrasound revealed that Julia is measuring approximately 4 pounds 8 ounces and James is 5 pounds 11 ounces...Yikes!!!  Julia is still head down, but my man-child managed to turn himself breech again.  The high risk doctor said that they look great and asked that I come back for another routine ultrasound in three weeks "if I'm still pregnant."  I wasn't prepared to hear that add-on.  For as uncomfortable as I am, I haven't thought twice about delivering these two before my induction day on September 19th.

I went to my regular OB appointment today and confirmed that James is still breech.  There is a chance he could turn, but because he will be born second, I can still avoid a c-section even if he doesn't.  Dr. Anderson has been clear with me that it is most ideal for James to be head-down especially given that he is believed to be about a pound bigger than Julia.  From what I can tell the delivery will not be without some added excitement, given that we don't know how James will respond after Julia is born.  He could turn head-down on his own, or be manually turned head-down by the doctor, or delivered footling breech.  The concern is how big he is at delivery.  The bigger he is, the greater the risk of him getting "stuck," in which case, there would be a need for an emergency c-section.  Dr. Anderson said that that concern would really come into play if he were in the 8-9 pound range.  Understanding fully that this will all play out according to God's plan, I am still praying that I can avoid a c-section.  The idea of keeping up with all of my children's needs while recovering from major abdominal surgery is intimidating.

When asked if I had been having contractions, I admitted that I have had more than a few, but have managed to curb them with water and rest.  Even still, Dr. Anderson decided to "check me."  It turns out that I am already 2 cm and 50% effaced.  I know very well that I can walk around like this for weeks, but being that I am only 33 weeks and 3 days, this update came as a bit of a surprise to me.  Dr. Anderson said that if I should go into labor now, they would likely just give me fluid, but wouldn't given me any tocolytic medication to stop the contractions.  I left Dr. Anderson's office in a bit of a fog, realizing that, in all likelihood, I wont make it another four weeks to my induction day.  My prayer is that these guys hold on until at least 35 weeks, preferably 36, so that we can feel even more confident about their lung maturity.  For now, I have alerted the troops of my progression, so we have an emergency plan in place.  I am going to be extra diligent over the next couple of weeks to keep well hydrated and off my feet so that these buns can keep on cooking for a bit longer.  But, I think it would be prudent to go ahead and pack my go-bag, just in case.

32 weeks!

After I got my hair did.

Outtakes:

This week seemed to mark the beginning of the especially uncomfortable homestretch.  I have read a bunch of twin blogs, and am relieved to know that it's not just me.  The girls and I left the house just once this week to drop off our recycling, but I otherwise spent the majority of the week on the couch.  It seemed that nausea has returned and I am getting lightheaded if I'm on my feet for any period of time.  Heartburn is in full effect and I am overcome with weakness after doing simple tasks.  My hips have become really loose which makes me feel a bit unstable when I get up and makes for a pretty achy back.  I found my old belly band (which is used to prolong use of non-maternity pants) and the support it provides actually feels good.  The next step is upgrading to a legitimate belly belt.

The girls have been WONDERFUL and have played so well inside the house.  So long as I have doors locked and gates up, I am pretty good to go on the couch for awhile.  If all else fails, Caillou is my best friend, as Sissy will sit for episodes on end while it's on the TV.  It's pretty much my golden ticket, that I try to only pull if I'm in dire straights.  By the grace of God, Emmy has napped this week, which has enabled me to nap each day, too.  We have paid for it on the back end with her wakefulness late at night, but at least she's pleasant and Nick is typically home to help me redirect her back to her room.  Sissy has been taking uncharacteristically long naps, too (3 plus hours!)  It helps the days to go by just a tad more quickly.

I got a burst of energy come Friday (hence the recycling field trip,) and did the babies' laundry and loaded their dresser.  Boy did that make it real (as if my ginormous belly wasn't enough of a reality check.)  I forget how small newborn clothing is, and I am getting more and more excited to lay eyes on these two and to hold them in my arms.